Light Returns, Letting Go
This week I gave notice to my team the same day Unilever announced spinning off the Ice Cream Business and planning to lay off 7,500 employees in the next two years. Also it was the first day of Spring. A day we’re moving from darkness towards increasing daylight.
Sunrise on the snow covered hayfields.
I told my Dad I was leaving Unilever and he asked me why and then didn’t want to talk to me anymore. This isn’t unusual for him. He usually calls me on FaceTime a few times each week, asks me the same three or four questions:
How’s Unilever treating you?
Whacha having for supper?
Where’s Stefan?
How are the puppy dogs?
Then he tells me what he ate for supper.
“Grilled cheese with a slice of tomato.”
Or, “Mac and Cheese with a side of coleslaw.”
Or, “A cheese burger with a slice of tomato and a side salad.”
I have no idea if my Dad actually eats any of this, or if he’s telling me what he thinks I want to hear. My Dad has dementia and recently, a broken CPAP machine that’s being reordered and circling around a request queue I can only imagine will take additional weeks to appear in the mail one day. I’ve been impressed with his ability to call and run down the list of questions, understanding he wakes up 85 times an hour. That’s how poorly he sleeps without a sleep machine.
When we spoke this week and he asked how Unilever was treating me I said, “Great. And I gave notice at work this week.”
“You did WHAT?!” He said.
“I gave notice at work.”
“Where are you going? Why did you do that?” He said.
I started to respond and he interrupted, as he often does when I’m answering his questions.
“All right kiddo. Nice talking to you. I gotta go. I just wanted to give you a call and see how you’re doing.”
“All right Dad. Thanks for calling. Have a good night. Love you.” I said.
“Right back at you, double.” He said.
The next day my brother Nick called me, after texting to see if I was ok. Apparently he spoke with my Dad who told him I quit my job. Nick said he was proud of me. He said, “Look. You’ll either figure out what you want to do next, or you’ll have to settle. You’re smart. You’ll figure it out.”
I am fortunate to have siblings who listen and take an interest in my life. Not everyone has that, and I get a lot of energy from them.
Emory Hall’s poem about Spring resonated with me this week. It was shared with me and I shared it with some folks.
https://emoryhall.com/blogs/news/muddied
As we continue down the path of Spring I am reminded of weeks this winter that felt like Spring. Warm, muddy, and no snow cover. The dogs spent a lot of time digging mud holes instead of hunting voles in the snow. Perhaps we had our last glimpse of snow on Saturday. We had about 7-10 inches and lots of wind moving it around. By Sunday it was melting in the sun.
Kepler and Bula have different opinions about snow. Kepler, the husky is all in. Bula, not so much.
Moving forward, adopting an expansive view. Appreciating the way nature moves, looping back and forth from winter to spring as we had towards warmth and light, away from darkness.
