Artist Recovery

Tom Cat Rooster watercolor painting. 6 x 6”.

I am an artist in recovery. Each week I have a goal to spend two days after work being creative. Ideally I would spend an hour a day, or seven hours a week being creative to support my transition to living as an artist. However, I know I need to start small and build up my habit over time so two days a week is where I’m at right now.

Recently I’ve been painting with watercolors. I have a 6 x 6” watercolor block- hot press, and a travel set of 12 Winsor Newtown watercolor blocks. Intentionally I limited myself to a small page size and limited palette. At this point I’m establishing my habit and getting into a rhythm, creating on a regular basis again. It’s not about the quality of what I’m doing as much as it’s about the practice and establishing rhythm.

For example, I have a solid morning meditation practice. I wake up each morning and set aside 20 minutes to meditate. I built up to that over time. As I recall I started with a five minute practice three days a week, or maybe it was five minutes, five days a week?

Rio goat portrait, in progress. 6 x 6” watercolor block.

I have to accept my creative muscles aren’t where I want them to be right now and over time I will be in creative shape. My goal is to have better balance aligning who I am with what brings me joy.

Setting boundaries is something I’ve been focused on and blocking time in my schedule two days a week has been working for me so far this month.

Sunrise over the snow covered hayfield, garden, and lawn. The light always returns.

Along with meditation, I’ve established a regular yoga, tai chi, and strength training practice. I’m grateful for the opportunity to practice movement and breath practices several hours each week. When I choose to spend my time focused on meditation, movement, and breath work, my focus is better, my energy is better and I am a kinder version of myself. When I allow myself to fall out of rhythm I regress into a reactive mindset. It’s not supportive of who I am, or how I want to show up in the world. Allowing myself to sit and create can be difficult because there are other activities I could be doing. For example chores, like cleaning my house. I am allowed to schedule time for creating.

Recently I’ve come to the understanding what gets scheduled gets done. I’m hopeful I will continue to allow myself the time and space to nurture my creative self.